The Church of Mary Kay

Now before you jump to any conclusions based on the title of this blog, let me be the first to say I seriously LOVE Mary Kay products. I have a special section in our family budget so that I can buy my Mary Kay cleanser & moisturizer. (My mom always said that it's worth it to pay a little extra to take of your skin and I have taken that to heart!) Also let me say that the AWESOME woman (hi April!) who sells me my Mary Kay told me (last night actually) that she reads my blog so I will not be disrespecting or dissing this fabulous company. Period. I have nothing but love and respect for April and for the MAry Kay company.

OK, now that my conscious is clear, my FABULOUS Mary Kay rep April, invited me to come to a Mary Kay event last night. She lured me in with the promise of new make up. (I am seriously a sucker for free product.) I have been to these kinds of things before. April has been my Mary Kay lady since I "won" a bridal make up consultation with her a few months before I married Daniel. Since then, about twice a year I get an invitation from April to various Mary Kay events. When I first started getting invited, April would always gently ask if I was interested in starting my own MK business and I would turn her down for a variety of reasons. So after awhile, I think she just knew not to ask. I have nothing against Mary Kay. I am always inspired by the energy and the excitement and the hope the MK women have. I appreciate the "Faith first, Family second, Work last" principle and I love that most MK women are not ashamed to declare their faith in their market place. I just don't love makeup as much as they seem to. I would probably only sell MK if I was a single woman with no children but I'm just not willing to give up my Friday and Saturday nights, being away from my family to host MK parties. The money, the cars, the prizes- it's not worth it for me.

So, that being said, I had a bit of a revelation last night. I was sitting in one of the beautiful ballrooms in the Radisson hotel in Covington. The women are all beautiful. Most are dressed impeccably, beautifully made up, all shapes and sizes and colors of women; it really is a room full of beauty. And success!  All of these successful women are parading across the stage, declaring how much money they've made selling MK, how many cars they've earned, how many carots in diamonds they've won, how many trips they've been on (on MK's dime!) and none of it with a spirit of pride or arrogance. These are the facts of their careers. It is inspiring! The room is a mix of a levels too. The guests are the ones who are not 'employed' by MK, they are the consumers of the products (this is me.) Then there are the consultants who are just starting out, then the consultants who have earned their first car, then the directors who have offspring consultants and on and on, up the chain of success. The speakers all made a big deal out of pointing out the guests, mainly because we are their targets.

Like I said earlier, the Mark Kay company makes no secret of the fact that faith in God is a huge part of the company's roots and the main speaker last night, National Sales Director Pam Shaw, freely spoke about the Lord's hand and voice in her life. She credited much of her success to her Christian roots and I felt as though I were listening to someone speaking in church. (There were even a few 'amens' from the peanut gallery.) At the close of her talk she asked the guests to stand (again! This was probably the 4th or 5th time we stood) and said something to the effect of "If you are interested in living the life of your dreams I want you to get up on this stage." Suddenly a flood of women were out of their seats and headed up front,  there were easily 30 women! After the clapping had slowed Pam said "I know there are more of you out there who have regretted not moving..." And sure enough here come a few more women! Then Pam turns to the women on stage, some are wiping away tears of excitement and all are hoping for a changed life, and asks them to mark the date, October 25, 2013, because this will be the day that they changed their futures.

Now pan the camera back to me. I have stayed rooted in my seat. The two girls in front of me and the girl who was sitting next to me are all on stage. I feel as though I have a giant spot light with an arrow pointing down on my head declaring "This one is a guest! And she's not on stage!" I felt guilty and singled out and like I was missing out on something incredible. Why would any sane person turn down the chance to be your own boss! drive a free car! work when you want to! and the myriad of other promises MK offers. The crowd mentality was really strong. In fact, the whole scenario felt like a alter call. Now, I gave my life to the Lord's leading when I was 4 years old (that moment is one of my earliest memories, I remember it very clearly.) So, I never responded to an alter call. I never had to. I have never known the guilt or pressure or urge to walk myself to the front of a church to surrender to God. I surrendered in a rocking chair on my mom's lap, before bedtime on night. So this feeling was new to me. Then I found myself wondering "I've never felt this way before when I have come to these MK things. Maybe God is prompting me to start my own business? But I don't hear Him speaking like He usually does. I haven't experienced that gut reaction disobedience followed by a sense of peace like I normally do when God asks me to do something." So I continued to sit and clap and cheer on those that are now on the road to 6 figure incomes and pretty pink cars and all the other success they'll discover.

Now for the revelation. Humans are driven by the chance to win and win big. We love prizes. We love feeling like we're getting something for nothing. (This is probably why I like clipping coupons and shopping for sales.) We love rewards. I even said it earlier, that I'm a sucker for free product. But we also know "there's no such thing as a free lunch" and "if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is." How many of have been disappointed or burned by a crummy reward? It didn't take too many trips to the carnival before I realized I was spending too much on the games to win the cheap, dinky prize. 3 times in Matthew 6 Jesus says "And your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." This bothers me though because Jesus never mentions what the reward is! What if my heavenly reward is a pile of a dinky carnival prizes? (Figuratively speaking of course, I sure hope dinky carnival prizes aren't allowed in heaven...) Though Jesus is clear about what we are to be doing in secret, he is never clear about what our reward will be. Though He is clear that a life surrendered to His control earns a free trip to heaven and an eternity with Him, He never really mentions if there are other bonuses involved. Eternity in heaven should be reward enough considering I don't deserve ANY of it. Yet still, I am discontent when I read Matthew 6.

(Insert whiny voice here) "What IS my reward Lord? Am I doing just enough here on earth in order to be pleased with my heavenly reward? Can you make me a sticker chart so I can my progress and know how much more I have to do to win and win big? God? Are you even listening? Sticker charts are so helpful Lord..."

Recouping at the Gorge

It's been a week since the M word. We are steadily getting back to normal. Last Sunday was awful. The worst. I would not wish losing a baby on anyone, even a person I thought shouldn't be allowed to procreate, I still would not wish loss of life on them. SO many women in my life have shared their own M stories with me. Seriously, SO. MANY. WOMEN. Too many women have endured this awful, heart rending pain. There is a sense of solidarity with those other mothers who know this pain. Women I would have described as strong, noble, faithful, passionate followers of Christ. Women who proclaim with their lives and their families and their lifestyles and their language and their humility a deep seeded love and trust for the One True God. Women whose lives have been rocked and scarred and yet still they proclaim that God is good; that He is faithful always. No matter how life on earth turns out, He is faithful. Always. He can be nothing BUT faithful. I want to be a woman like these in my life. I want my children to "rise and call my blessed" (Prov. 31:28) because of the example I set. Because of the language I speak. Because I pointed them to God. Because God's faithfulness was always on my lips. I will take what the enemy intended for evil, what the enemy thought would tear me down or break my spirit or forever break my heart and I will say "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away, may the name of the Lord be praise." Job 1:21

This past weekend was Fall Break at CCU, where I teach. We used the extra time to get away as a family. Daniel loves camping at the Red River Gorge. He says he likes to hear the wind as it rustles through the leaves in the trees and through all of the gorge. I just wanted to get away with my boys and have a change of pace. Our plan was to head down Friday morning, hike, then set up our tent, cook some dinner, and enjoy nature. I don't know if this was a prompting from God or just Daniel being impatient, but he decided to rent a cabin, The Firefly Suite, for Thursday night. So, around 6:30pm, we loaded Isaiah into the Buick and the 3 of us headed to the Gorge. We knew it would be late and very dark when we got to our cabin. The website said the cabin is "off the grid", meaning no electricity and no running water. What it failed to mention is that driving a Buick Century up the gravely, hilly road to the cabin is not a great idea. Particularly if your husband just had eye surgery, meaning he can't see well enough to drive at night, leaving the wife to navigate GIANT Buick on the teeny tiny one lane gravely, hilly road. Add a screaming baby to the mix and you've got our arrival at the Firefly Suite.

Once we actually got into our cabin though, all the stress of our arrival was gone. This cabin. Oh my. So perfect. You can see pictures on the website (the link is above.) Thanks to the cabin being "off the grid", there was no electricity so the area we were in was pitch black, which meant the stars were so bright and clear. And to top it off, there was another cabin not far from ours and some one started to play the fiddle. It was so perfect and peaceful. Exactly what I needed.

So after a night's rest, we were off to hike the Gorge! We started out at Natural Bridge. We hiked up, up, up until we got to the top of the Bridge. We reminisced about the Geology Field Trip. We oohed and aahed over the view and God's incredible creativity. We let Isaiah crawl around in the dirt. Then we hiked down Balancing Rock Trail. Daniel found and carved a walking stick. We joked about how a man who is basically half blind should not be allowed to use a pocket knife and walk at the same time but he did it anyway. We walked down lots and lots of stairs.

Balancing Rock!

Then it was on to Miguel's for lunch! You haven't been to the Red River Gorge if you haven't eaten pizza at Miguel's. We decided that it's not necessarily because Miguel's pizza is all that good but because it's basically the ONLY food you can find in the middle of the Gorge. Isaiah helped us polish off a piece or two. That kid loves pizza.

Ale 8!
(don't worry, it was empty- no pop for this kid!)

At that point our plan was to grab a Backwoods Camping Pass, let Isaiah nap for a bit, hike to a scenic spot on the ridge, and set up camp. Except the Red River Gorge is a state park, and within the Red River Gorge is the Daniel Boone National Forest.

Which meant that the park was closed to camping because of the Government Shutdown.

Which left us with a decision. Option #1 was to ignore the Government Shutdown, pocket the $3 Backwoods Camping Pass, and continue as planned. After all, if the Park Rangers and other employees are all on furlough then there is no accountability. Camp or don't camp, no one is there to know. Option #2 was to obey the rules, bite the bullet and head home early. We kept waffling, we couldn't decide if we wanted to take our chances or have our plans ruined. We decided to hike around a bit more then make a campfire and cook our dinner (mmm... hobo packs!) Eventually we knew that the right choice was to obey the rules. So Daniel at least got to make an awesome fire, I got to practice being a backwoods chef, and Isaiah got to crawl around in the dirt some more and eat pine needles. After dinner we splashed water on our fire, hiked back to the car, and headed home. And as we passed the car of a fellow hiker, who had told us he was planning on spending the night without a pass, we chuckled at the State Trooper vehicle parked next to his.

So despite our somewhat ruined plans, we had a fantastic time. It was so healing for me to get away with my boys and have the space to be together without a to-do list, even if just for 24 hours.