Thrive

Sometime back in January we were at small group and the leader posed an interesting question. She said "If you could choose one word to define the year 2014, what word would you choose?" Almost immediately the word THRIVE came to mind. The word came to me so quickly it was as if God was waiting like an impatient little kid, bouncing on tiptoes, ready to give me my word as soon as the time was right. Thrive. The word couldn't have been more timely. We had just finally begun to wrap our minds around the idea that our twins would be born in 2014. The concept of thriving was the furthest thing from the survival mode that most of December had been. THRIVE felt like the first warm day after a long snowy winter. THRIVE felt like falling into a cozy warm bed after a hard day's work. It felt good, right even. But it also felt impossible. "How can we possibly THRIVE with twins on the way, Lord?" I argued. "The strain on my body, on our finances, on Isaiah?! This is going to ruin his life!" But still, the word just kind of sat there, waiting for me to examine it, to think it through, to trust the promise. So I fiddled with it all that day. I thought about what it might look like to THRIVE as a family of 5. I thought about what I might look like 9 months pregnant and thriving. I pictured Isaiah laughing and playing with his siblings, thriving with a childhood surrounded by his siblings as friends. I liked the way THRIVE looked but it still felt too far away, too distant from the emotional survival mode I'd been in.

And then I forgot. I forgot about the word, about how good the promise of thrive felt. Like I left it under a chair somewhere and never thought to go after it. Maybe I chose to forget? Maybe it seemed too unrealistic so I let it go? Or maybe I just plum forgot. Either way, I forgot. Until last Sunday.

We did a song in church on Sunday by Casting Crowns called "Thrive." Listen to it in all it's awesomeness here. I'm standing in church, looking down at my 2 week old twins asleep in their stroller, and I'm weeping tears of gratitude and thankfulness for a life that THRIVES, that is a living, breathing, pulsating picture of something that is (present tense!) THRIVING. The twins did not undo us. The pregnancy was actually pretty easy. The c-section did not ruin me. Isaiah actually enjoys his siblings. We are a THRIVING family of 5!

Found on a store front window in Linwood.

As if that weren't enough, now I'm beginning to see the word pop up in random places. As if God has determined to help me not forget this time around.

"We know we were made for 

so much more than ordinary life. 

It's time to do more than just survive. 

We were made to thrive. 

Joy unspeakable, 

Faith unsinkable, 

Love unstoppable, 

Anything is possible."

Looking back now I'm actually chuckling at how many times God tried to break through my uncertainty and my fear at having twins. I hate that hindsight is so much more clear than when you're living the moment. Around the same time God gave me the word THRIVE, he also gave me the song "Glorious Unfolding" by Steven Curtis Chapman. The very first verse says:

"Lay your head down tonight

Take a rest from the fight

Don’t try to figure it out

Just listen to what I’m whispering to your heart

‘Cause I know this is not

Anything like you thought

The story of your life was gonna be

And it feels like the end has started closing in on you

But it’s just not true

There’s so much of the story that’s still yet to unfold" 

And when I first heard it, that's exactly where I was- fighting with God over His provision in giving us twins, letting fear & doubt creep in at the thought that this might upset or ruin our family dynamic. The promise of this actually being the Glorious Unfolding felt a lot like THRIVE. I loved the concept but didn't trust the promise. I couldn't quite move past the first verse to embrace the chorus.

And now, fast forward to yesterday. My awesome mother-in-love sent me the link to the video for the song, which I happened to watch while I was nursing Micaiah. So as I am literally NURSING a small part of God's Glorious Unfolding in my life, I was overcome by gratitude and thankfulness that He is

"Forever revealing the depth and the beauty 

of His unfailing Love

And the story has only begun

And this is going to be a glorious unfolding

Just you wait and see and you will be amazed"

I am LIVING the chorus right now. I am amazed at what God is doing with and through our family. I'm amazed at how many people have stepped up to love on us, bring us meals, drop off diapers, offer to run errands & do our laundry, give gifts and cards and encouraging words and timely scriptures and pray over us. We are literally seeing God's Glorious Unfolding every day as He uses His people to minister to us in this season. It's an incredible thing to be on the receiving end of God's generosity.

We were made to thrive.