The Blessing in the Breaking: Boaz's Birth Story

Hey all! I've had lots of friends ask about Boaz's birth story so if you're interested, here it is!

Thursday afternoon I had gone to the OB/GYN for my 40 week check up. Everything looked good but I was showing no real signs of labor beginning. I was dilated "1 cm and some wiggle room." The doctor joked that she hoped I went into labor the next day because then she'd get to deliver me. We both laughed but I knew it wouldn't happen. She asked if I'd be willing to schedule my induction  for the next week (just in case) but I declined and said I knew he'd come on his own time.

Thursday night we went to bed like normal but the night was long. McKenna & Micaiah woke up several times (which NEVER happens.) Isaiah had to go potty in the middle of the night (which also never happens.) Since we were up a lot Thursday night I vaguely remember feeling like I had a stomachache but was too tired and groggy to notice. About 5:30am I woke up, definitely feeling my stomachache. The more I woke up, the more I realized my stomachache was coming in predictable waves and I started timing the pains. My "stomachache" lasted about 35 seconds and were spaced 6 minutes apart.

So I came downstairs and did a little work, knowing full well we were gonna have a baby soon. I changed the laundry, picked up some toys, and packed my hospital backpack. I turned on my labor worship music and spent some time thanking Jesus that today was Boaz's birth day and asking for strength for the work ahead. I also texted our parents.

About 8am Isaiah came downstairs and we snuggled for a little while. I told him we were going to get to meet Boaz today and asked if he was excited. He asked "Do I get to go to Grammy's house now?" I laughed and said yes that Grampy was on his way to get him.  When Daniel came downstairs I could see on his face he was surprised to see me up and moving already (I am so not a morning person.) I said "Today is the day. We're going to have a baby today." His facial expression was great. Sleepy morning face + reality of labor + the call to action all played across his features in the span of about 5 seconds.

My dad showed up around 8:30am, which was really great because he helped distract Isaiah while I worked through contractions and Daniel got breakfast ready. Amazingly the twins slept until about 9:30am so it wasn't 10am before the kids were happily on their way to Grammy & Grampy's and Daniel & I could get to work.

If you're familiar with the 3 signposts of labor (Excitement -- Seriousness -- Self Doubt) I think it was only after the kids were gone that I could move into the seriousness of the work ahead. I could still talk with Daniel between contractions but he said I stopped laughing at his jokes as much. I was also starting to wonder when we were going to leave for the hospital. Because I needed a C-section to deliver the twins, my doctor wanted me to come to the hospital at the beginning of labor to watch for uterine rupture (a risk associated with VBACs.) However Daniel was in no hurry to leave, as he had yet to pack his part of the hospital bag. Then he sat down at the piano and asked if I wanted him to play for a little while. I started to feel a little panicky and reminded him that the doctor wanted me to come in as soon as labor began. But he gently reminded me that we had a lot of laboring left to do and wouldn't I be more comfortable at home? So, deciding to follow my husband's lead and trusting God to let my body work the way it was designed, we settled in. He played worship music for me for about a half an hour while I labored on the couch, working through contractions half the time and dozing the other half.

The thing I realized as I labored was if I pushed my pelvic floor down into the couch during a contraction, I could actually feel my cervix slowly pulling open. I kept picturing a drawstring bag being    s l o w l y    pulled open. It dawned on me then that that's the feeling my doula had been trying to get me to achieve when I was in labor with Isaiah. She kept reminding me to let me body open up but I didn't put the pieces together until 4 years later. Imagine that. Despite the pain, it was actually a cool sensation to realize I was working with my body and helping speed labor along instead of fighting every contraction by tensing up.

Eventually I moved upstairs to labor on our bed. I was able to sleep some, which was a nice way to get some rest before moving to the hospital. My contractions were about 45 seconds long and about 5 minutes apart. I kept thinking about wanting the blessing of an unmedicated delivery without any of the pain. I wanted my contractions to hurry up. I wanted to leave for the hospital (because somehow that meant my baby would be born that much faster?) I wanted to stop this feeling of my body being pulled apart from the inside. I wanted the blessing without the breaking.

When I was in labor with Isaiah my labor song was "Beautiful Things" by Gungor. Listen to it here if you're not familiar with it- it's an incredible song. For my labor with Boaz, I chose "Oceans" by Hillsong United. (Listen to it here.) I chose "Oceans" for one phrase; the one thought I most wanted to remember when in the painful throes of labor:

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters, wherever you would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

That my faith would be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior

The thing about labor is that, yes it's painful, but it's pain with a purpose. Each painful contraction gets me one step closer to meeting my baby and achieving this goal of letting my body do the work it was LITERALLY created to do. It's one of only a few times when I can say without a doubt, that I was fully involved in the work I was born to do. It's an incredible feeling of fulfillment that also happens to hurt like crazy. By choosing an unmedicated labor, I'm allowing my body to feel the contractions that are like being broken open. In the same way, by saying "Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders" I'm openly walking into a life that is led by the Holy Spirit and not my own design. So even though my natural inclination is to tense up and resist pain, instead I want to choose to trust my Creator and walk through the blessing AND the breaking, as He leads me to it.

OK, so back to Boaz. About 2pm my contractions were consistently lasting longer than a minute so Daniel decided we were ready to go. We got to the hospital about 2:45pm. The drive over was MISERABLE for me. I don't think I had one productive contraction the entire drive over. I felt every bump, turn, and stoplight we encountered and tensed every time. Ugh, it was so very painful. The nurse in triage did not seem to understand that I was in very active labor and how little I wanted to follow her procedures. When she did check to see how dilated I was, she proclaimed me at 6 centimeters! She seemed so pleased and I was nothing but disappointed. I was so done with being in pain that I wanted to be at 9 cms and ready to push. I didn't have it in me for another 4 hours of labor to get to 10 cms. As I was getting settled in at Labor & Delivery, I had a contraction while the nurse was inserting my HepLock and I had an undeniable urge to push. I told her so (more like groaned but whatever) and she seemed totally fine with that. I was surprised. With Isaiah, the nurses made me wait to push but this nurse seemed totally fine with me following my body's cues. They moved me onto my back and brought the doctor in, low and behold I was 100% effaced and ready to deliver. I moved from 6 to 10 centimeters in under an hour- I was shocked. 

I thought I had been in hard labor. Then it came time to push. I realized I had nothing left to give and the hardest work was still ahead of me. I was in tears, clinging to Daniel's hand, telling him I couldn't do it. There was no energy, no strength left. I asked the doctor to just reach in and pull him out because as far as I could tell that was the only way he was going to come out. I certainly couldn't do it. The doctor asked if she could break my water which would help him come faster, which I quickly agreed to. The gush of fluid was intense, the nurses and Daniel pulled my legs back, and on the next contraction I pushed. I gave everything I had but no baby. When the next contraction came I could see his head crown and man alive did I push. Out he came followed by a second huge gush of amniotic fluid (Daniel said he surfed out on a wave.) And there he was. All 8 lbs 15 oz, and with a head full of hair (which we totally earned, if the Old Wives tales about heartburn and hair are to be believed.) We, the three of us, had done it. We had successfully achieved an unmedicated VBAC.

Daniel was incredible. He was patient with me, both encouraging me and being quiet when necessary. He wasn't afraid or tentative but made decisions with boldness so that I could trust him to lead us through this together. He was the one who believed I could do the work without medicine. He was the one calling me to trust my body to do the work the way it was created to work. He was the one leading me to worship through the pain. This man that God has given me to love for my lifetime painted the most incredible picture of Christ I could ever hope to see. On the day Boaz was born, Daniel embodied the Ephesians 5 husband to me.

Boaz Christopher Read was born at 4pm on Friday September 23, 2016. Weighing 8 lbs 15 oz and measuring 22 inches long. The name Boaz means "swiftness" and "man of valor." We chose the name Boaz because we want our son to live like the biblical Boaz whose story is recorded in the book of Ruth. Biblical Boaz showed compassion to a foreigner. He found virtue and rewarded it. He was generous. As for Christopher, my middle name is Christine so he's named for me in that regard. Christopher means "carrier of Christ," which I love.

Since Boaz is baby #4 for us we had a very short 24 hour stay at the hospital and were home by Saturday night. Both Boaz & I are doing great. Nursing is going really well. Sleeping is predictably hard to come by. I've got some skin tears and bruises from pushing so hard and that's been painful for me but the doctor thinks I'll be good as new in a few days, which is definitely a pro for unmedicated delivery. There is typically very little recovery time. As for Isaiah, McKenna & Micaiah they are in LOVE with their brother. No signs of jealousy or frustration yet, just sweet love for their baby Boaz. McKenna is especially attentive. Sometimes her love hurts, she just wants to squeeze him!

And that is the story of how Boaz was born! We're so grateful that his birth happened exactly as we had prayed and planned for. Thanks for all the love and support, encouragement and meals! 

The Miracle of Dry Towels

Yesterday was a day of highs and lows.

The Lows:

• I am very pregnant. I have felt incredibly good for the majority of this pregnancy (thank you JESUS!) but I am beginning to feel every minute of the 38 weeks I have carried this child. I am also feeling the pressure of 3 kids under 4 who very much need my love and attention right now. I want to be gracious and fun right now. I want to fill every minute of these last days (weeks?) with laughing and playing and wrestling and enjoying each other's company, because adding a 6th person to our brood will change the way this mama can play for awhile. But instead of all these good things, I spent most of yesterday focused on crossing off MY list. MY nesting. MY need to get stuff done before birth day. I spent most of yesterday grumpy.
• I dropped the baby monitor earlier this week and the screen went dead. We do not have the time or the money to replace our entire 3 camera baby monitor system.
• Daniel is feverishly working to get the Price Hill house finished before birth day so that he can be home and present when we have another child. Except for our Sabbath day, he is rarely home.
• We bought appliances for the Price Hill house and decided to upgrade our own appliances in the process. Which means Daniel also has a list of jobs to accomplish here at home in order to get all of the appliances fully installed. I have 2 weeks worth of laundry to do and the dryer is not yet hooked up.
• I am more and more nervous about the possibility of going into labor when Daniel is not home. This is becoming a very real fear...

The Highs:

• Despite the guilt of working on my list, I got a lot done yesterday and that just plain feels good!
• I put out a plea on Facebook for help with the monitor and a friend from church responded. He took it home on Wednesday and got it working again! His initial attempts failed and he didn't think it could be saved but I prayed! I believed! I asked several trusted prayer warriors to pray too! His wife dropped off the monitor this morning, COMPLETELY restored! It works perfectly again.
• During the monitor saga, my mom and my mother-in-love decided to pool their resources and buy us a new monitor system, should the old one be truly dead. If you have never priced video monitor systems, they are NOT cheap. I felt very cared for that they were willing to buy such an EXPENSIVE gift. And I'm grateful that now they don't have to!
• Daniel was quite productive last night and the kitchen at the Price Hill house is even closer to being finished! Once the kitchen is the done, the remaining projects are fairly small.
• I realized that not having a working dryer is only a problem in the winter. In September, why not line dry the clothes? I already have clothes line and pins so outside I went. I strung up my line, strung up the wet clothes and an hour later- I had clean, dry sheets! Plus I got to enjoy the bonus of having sun dried clothes (there's something very domestic feeling about that for me...)

So despite the lows, I'm grateful to call out the highs. But the day doesn't end there. It actually ends with a miracle. I truly think God showed up in a crazy way to show me that He sees me.

Last night I had to teach to 2 voice lessons. I loaded up the kids and off we went to go teach. The kids had done such a good job while I taught I decided to treat them to Skyline for dinner. While we were sitting in the restaurant, I noticed it seemed to be getting pretty dark outside, despite the fact that it wasn't all that late. Then I checked the radar. Rain. Lots of rain. And I had laundry proudly waving in the yard, soaking up all the September heat.  Now, if you have young kids, you know there is no hurrying them through a meal that they actually like. These kids were going to eat every last scrap of cheese from Skyline and would not be hurried. I could do nothing but pray the rain stayed away long enough for us to get home. As we left the restaurant it had already begun to rain and I knew my clean, dry laundry was no more. Sigh. 

We pulled in to the rain soaked driveway and I felt my grumpiness level shoot through the roof. Why did this season have to be so hard? Why did Daniel have to choose THIS year to buy and fix up a house? Why couldn't God make this time easier? Didn't He see how HARD all of this has been on me? I was serving up all of the 'whining whys' God detests and none of the praise He actually deserves. I got the kids in the house and went to check on the status of the laundry. As I stepped off the walkway onto the grass, it dawned on me that the walkway was dry. The grass was also dry. I looked around me. Our driveway was wet. Our neighbor's driveway was wet. The street was wet. Our porch was wet. But our walkway and our lawn was dry... As I reached out the see how soaked the towels were, my hand grabbed dry terrycloth. Friends, the towels were completely dry. Dry as could be. I GLEEFULLY got the laundry off the line and hustled inside just as the heavens opened back up to dump more rain on the thirsty grass.

In that simple discovery of dry towels, I felt so loved-- so SEEN by our good & gracious Father. He gave me a great gift and a gentle reminder that He's present for me. He sees what Daniel & I are doing, how we choose to live our lives and raise our children and he's blessing us. He's given us another arrow for our quiver and He is just so good. He can be nothing but good.