These last several months, Daniel & I have been trying to do a better job of observing the Sabbath. We have been taking Saturday as the day set aside for our family to "rest, play, and wrestle" (the wrestle part is an addition, courtesy of 4 year old Isaiah.) As a part of our playing, we take some time to retell a Bible story and then act it out. We also subscribe to a media server called RightNow Media that offers TONS of sermons, clips, and kids videos so we'll look to see if there is a kid's video that fits that week's story.
So, all of this back story is a lead up to recent events. A few Sabbaths ago, we told the story of Moses, specifically Moses and the Burning Bush. Isaiah has been learning about Moses in Sunday school anyway, so reinforcing the story at home just made sense. We talked about the burning bush and how God spoke to Moses through the fire. At that point in the story-telling I paused, and in the pause Isaiah said "I never hear Jesus talking in my fire, it just pops." This cracked me up! Such a hilarious observation. Then we watched "Prince of Egypt" on RightNow Media and we all had a great time that day.
Fast forward to today, 3 weeks from Moses and the Burning Bush. Today we told the story of Noah. We got to go to the Ark Encounter in Williamstown, KY on Friday and had a really great time. It's definitely worth getting down there to check it out- it's beautiful!
So we were enjoying a really relaxing Sabbath today, until it came time for dessert...
We sat down to eat our dinner and continued to talk about Noah and Jesus and why we honor the Sabbath. When it was time to eat dessert, Daniel decided to light a few candles and turn out all the lights in the house. He wanted us to focus on how Jesus is the light of the world and that we carry His light in us.
Now at this point in the day, I'm feeling pretty proud of us. We've spent the last two days talking about Noah and his faith in God. We've talked about Jesus and how he gives us good gifts. Our kids are being saturated in these truths and I'm feeling pretty proud.
Isaiah had just settled in with his dessert, he'd taken two bites. Daniel started talking about the candles and fire and how God spoke to Moses through the fire. Isaiah was really quiet and then said "Can God talk to me in the fire?" After thinking for a few seconds, I reassured him that God COULD talk to him through the fire but probably wouldn't. Then Daniel piped up and said "If God did talk to you through the fire it would be amazing! The first thing God said to Moses was 'Do not be afraid!'"
And that was the beginning of the Isaiah's meltdown. He began to lose it. He started to cry, then asked us to blow the candles out and turn the lights on. He tried to push the candle stick away and was pleading for us to blow the candle out. Daniel & I tried to reassure him that if God did speak it would be a good thing, and nothing to be afraid of, but at that point we had lost him. I told him that if he couldn't calm down we'd have to leave the dessert and go up to bed. So he chose to go to bed! I made sure he understood that if we went upstairs there'd be no turning back and still he insisted on going to bed. Fear had stolen his joy.
As I was tucking him into bed, I found my heart breaking for him. Isaiah was so caught up in the fear of what might happen if God spoke through the fire that he couldn't even enjoy his dessert. He just wanted to run. He wanted out. He couldn't even listen to Daniel & I as we tried to reassure him that God loves him and doesn't want him to be afraid. He just wanted out.
How often does God feel the same about me? When I get so caught up in my (completely irrational, totally unlikely) fears that I can't even enjoy the sweet things around me, does God's heart break over my lack of trust? Does he mourn because I totally missed the point of the story and stopped listening at the mere mention of the possibility of being afraid? He probably does. What am I supposed to do about this?! How do I teach Isaiah not to be afraid when this is a huge struggle for me too?
I hate fear. It is the worst of thieves. It robs us of so many good moments. I need to do a better job of repenting of fear and teaching my kids to do the same. Here I was feeling so proud of Daniel & I for spending the last 2 days laser-focused on talking about Jesus and his love, that I missed a huge chance to speak life over Isaiah and fear. Any advice on how to teach a 4 yr old (and his 33 yr old mama) not to fear?
