On Tuesday I had a dr's appt to check in our twins. The appt went well- my blood pressure is great, the baby's heart rates are perfect, everything looks as it should. Thank you LORD! After my check up, I had an appointment for my first non-stress test, which is a chance for the doctors to monitor the babies heart rates for a longer stretch of time to make sure no one is in distress. But as I was leaving the clinic, the edge of my flip flop caught the edge of an uneven paving stone and down I went. Luckily I caught my fall on my hands and knees, my belly didn't take any of the impact. But 2 doctors saw me fall and tattled on me reported the incident like any good doctor would. They helped me up and looked me over. One doctor asked my name and said I needed to go to triage to make sure the babies were ok. I told him that I was headed to the perinatal center for a non-stress test anyway so he said he'd call ahead and let them know I had taken a tumble (thus the tattling.) I really felt fine, other than a little shaken up and scared of what could have happened if I hadn't caught my fall.
Anyway, I got to the perinatal center and checked in for my non-stress test, except something had gotten mixed up at the scheduling center and they had me scheduled for an ultra sound, not a non-stress test. Sigh. OK, I guess you can show me my babies. Such a sacrifice ;) It was wonderful to see them on screen, kicking each other and squirming away. Especially after the drama of the fall, I was so relieved to see that they were completely normal. I also got great news- McKenna weighs 4.9 lbs and Micaiah weighs 5.5 lbs. WOOHOO! This was SUPER encouraging to hear as the more they weigh, the healthier they will be when they are delivered! However, discouraging was the news that McKenna (aka Baby A), who WAS head down is now breech. And the hospital won't allow a vaginal delivery if Baby A is not head down. So it is back to the Spinning Babies exercises for me. (Click here to learn all about Spinning Babies.)
After I was finished with the ultrasound, the staff then sent me over to triage for my non-stress test. If I had known what awaited me, I think I would have just gone home. I thought I was going in for the traditional non-stress test, like I went through just before I had Isaiah. The whole thing takes maybe an hour, they strap a heart rate monitor to your belly and you get to sit and relax the whole time. Triage, however, is where ladies go when they are in (or think they are in) labor. The nursing staff checks you out to make sure you are truly in labor, asks you a bunch of questions, and then move you to a labor and delivery room. But because the staff had been alerted that I had taken a little spill, I had to stay for a FOUR HOUR stress test. I was fully admitted to the hospital- I'm talking ID bracelet, hospital gown, tiny little room in triage all to myself, the whole nine yards. And on top of all of that, I was by myself, which makes hospitals that much more scary. The nurse who took care of me was wonderful, even though the babies would not cooperate in helping her find both heart beats. Eventually she found them and I settled in for the long haul. Eventually Daniel and even my dad showed up and that provided MUCH comfort, but as I lay there listening to the sound of thundering hooves that are unborn babies heart beats I couldn't help but think of another little baby whose heart beat I never got to hear.
I would have been 40 weeks pregnant with Reuben, our would-have-been second child, on Tuesday May 27th. It's odd to think how different things would be if I hadn't miscarried. There would be no talk of twins, no little girl clothes in the laundry, no triple stroller, only one crib, one infant car seat, one swing. We'd be prepping for another little boy and teaching Isaiah to say "Reuben." And I cry as I type this, mourning the life of a little boy I won't meet until Jesus introduces us. I miss the chance to have been his mommy on earth, to deliver him, and hold him, and kiss his little head. And maybe I'm being ungrateful as I know of many women who don't even have one baby to hold and call their own, but the grief of miscarriage does not discriminate. So today I again mourn the loss of my second child and anticipate the day I get to kiss his sweet face.
Thankfully, all is well with our twins. We all passed the non-stress test with flying colors. They even discharged me after only 2 hours on the monitor instead of the traditional 4. I only had one contraction the entire time, when I rolled from my right side to my left. Everyone is gonna be just fine. I've got 6 more weeks before these babes should make their appearance and when they do, they will be so loved on and cuddled and covered in kisses! I thank God for the chance to be their mommy and I'm grateful that God is always good and He is always faithful. He can be nothing but. Even when it doesn't feel like He is being good or faithful to me, He can be nothing but.
"I promise this very day that I will repay two blessings for each of your troubles."
Zechariah 9:12
Thankfully, all is well with our twins. We all passed the non-stress test with flying colors. They even discharged me after only 2 hours on the monitor instead of the traditional 4. I only had one contraction the entire time, when I rolled from my right side to my left. Everyone is gonna be just fine. I've got 6 more weeks before these babes should make their appearance and when they do, they will be so loved on and cuddled and covered in kisses! I thank God for the chance to be their mommy and I'm grateful that God is always good and He is always faithful. He can be nothing but. Even when it doesn't feel like He is being good or faithful to me, He can be nothing but.
"I promise this very day that I will repay two blessings for each of your troubles."
Zechariah 9:12
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