July 10

After my previous blog post, I have had so many people come alongside to encourage me in this pregnancy. If you have been one of those people, from the bottom of my heart: THANK YOU! We are feeling the prayers and support that you are sending our way.

One friend, a mom to 8 month old boy/girl twins, commented on my blog and had some very specific encouragement to offer (Hi Angela!) She said her twins were born at 38 weeks but that they struggled to nurse. She wondered if they had stayed inside longer if they wouldn't have had as much trouble. That one statement blew me away. And here's why. I've heard that so. many. times. that twins usually come early, I've subconsciously had it in my mind that twins are SUPPOSED to come early. Of course if I had actually thought it through I would have said otherwise, but in my mind our twins were going to be born before 38 weeks because that's just what twins do. I hadn't even CONSIDERED that 38 weeks is STILL 2 weeks early and that babies born early typically have a few more issues than babies that make it to 40 weeks and beyond. (I know there can be exceptions to this as newborns do not exactly have reputations as being predictable. I'm only speaking in terms of averages/generalizations.) I've been thinking all along that my due date is June 26, which is 38 weeks. No. My due date is July 10- 40 weeks. That's the new goal. 40 weeks gestation carrying twins.

So Monday evening, Daniel came home from work and as we were rehashing our days, I told him about my conversation with Angela and her valuable insight. He very gently and lovingly reminded me that, while I am uncomfortable and VERY ready to deliver these babies, it's still easier with them on the inside than on the outside. The longer they stay inside the stronger their lungs get, the more weight they gain so they'll sleep for longer stretches, the better they'll nurse, etc etc. The ONLY reason to deliver early is if the babies are in some kind of trouble and none of our monitoring has shown any sign of trouble. So by Monday night I was feeling as though I had been given a second wind. Not only will I carry these babies as long as possible, I will choose to rejoice in every day that I'm NOT in labor!

As if that weren't enough to boost my sails, I had 2 doctor's appts on Tuesday- a regular check up as well as a non-stress test/amniotic fluid check. At the check up I learned that I'm 2 cm dilated (WOOHOO, that's 2 cm closer to being 10 cm!) and I also learned that the hospital won't suggest I be induced at 38 weeks as long as both the babies & I are showing no signs of distress. I had been told all along they wouldn't "allow" me to go much past 38 weeks so I have been mentally preparing myself for a bit of a fight (as I really really do not want to be induced.) Hearing the doctor give verbal permission to put off induction gave me SUCH encouragement, as it reaffirmed that the hospital really is on my side and not some villainous institution designed to snatch my babies from my womb before they're ready. (Please forgive the theatrics but birthin' babies the natural way is not always smiled upon.)

Here's the moral of my story. When I was pregnant with Isaiah, I decided I wanted to have a natural, unmedicated delivery. I had 2 reasons for this. The main reason was because I wanted it to be an act of worship, trusting God as my Creator and therefore trusting my body, God's creation, to do the job the way He designed it. The second reason was because I had done a lot of research on the effects of various hospital interventions on newborns and I didn't like a lot of what I had read. It was a 100% personal decision between Daniel & I. It was also an INCREDIBLY empowering experience for me. You see, I'm not very athletic. I've never "pushed my body to it's limits" before. I don't know the physical pain and struggle that many athletes go through. In truth, I've never really liked my body, athletic or not. When I was in labor with Isaiah and feeling every single contraction, every single push, every single nerve ending crying out in pain, I actually liked & appreciated my body. I was grateful to have been made a woman and to have been equipped with the tools necessary to deliver this child, the physical representation of the love between Daniel & I. That day I was INCREDIBLY grateful for the body I have. I want to feel that way again. I want to worship my Creator by pushing my body to it's limits and using His creation the way He intended. I want to deliver these twins into the world knowing that it was my God who carried me through and not anything man made.

Now before I offend anyone, I know there are a billion different birth stories out there and NONE of those stories are wrong. Your birth story is as unique to you and your personality as mine is to me. Please know I'm only speaking for myself and for what has been true for me. I know God carries us women through EVERY birth, whether it's on an operating table, at a water birth, or in the back of an ambulance. I'm not downplaying you or God's role in your story, I'm just telling mine.

So, here's to 3 more weeks of pregnancy. The new goal is 40 weeks aka July 10. I got this!

P.S.- If God brings our family to your mind, would you pray for these specifics:
1. Pray that McKenna, Baby A, turns head down. She is currently breech and the hospital will not allow a vaginal delivery if Baby A is breech.
2. Pray that I continue to get the sleep I so desperately need.
3. Pray that the hospital staff on duty the day I deliver is compassionate and flexible with our birth vision.